Family of God

Amy Windisch, our friend from North Carolina, shares her struggles and victories with us today.

I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God, I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His Blood!

Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod, For I'm part of the family,

The Family of God

From the door of an orphanage to the house of the King, No longer an outcast, a new song I sing; From rags unto riches, from the weak to the strong, I'm not worthy to be here, but PRAISE GOD! I belong!

I think there is a spirit of suicidal thoughts. I had one attempt when I was a teenager. But the thought I couldn’t escape. And it made me sicker and sicker over the years. I sought help at times, therapy, medication, etc… The one thing that kept me alive was after my first attempt someone told me, I would go to hell.

I was broken from my childhood and that’s where I placed all the blame. I called myself a believer of Jesus Christ but I didn’t know Him. Only prayed when I wanted something.

I would get so angry with myself because as an adult I didn’t think I had a lot of reasons to want to die. But mentally I was a mess. I felt guilty and embarrassed for my family. And because I couldn’t even explain why the suicidal thoughts were so hardcore. Even the thoughts hurt your loved ones. And well the answer “I don’t know “ doesn’t make sense.

I would become physically sick. Couldn’t get out of bed. Crying to the point that my head would pound or feel completely numb. And when you get like that it effects your family, friends, and job. And of course they want to know why? But the answer isn’t always there.

I asked God sometimes why, because I didn’t know.

I shared my testimony here a while back and I can share again. It’s long.

The only One that was able to help was God. He reached for me so many times. I had finally made the decision, I thought. But curled in a ball, crying and ready. I heard Him.

I have reached for so many times, you have to take My hand.

Revelation 3:20 LSB - Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

I got up and opened my Bible. And a relationship with Jesus started. He does His part but I had to do mine too. I love the together. Because when someone feels alone and maybe they have all kinds of friends and family but still can’t rid the loneliness. That’s desperation for The Only Savior Jesus Christ.

I still have some work to do. And not often but spiritual warfare tries me sometimes. So I have a prayer and scripture with me all the time.

Prayer

My confidence is in you Jesus.

Lord, you are my strength and a place of comfort,my refuge. You have the power to break, demolish, and rid me of the strongholds that cause me to worry, have anxiety, to overthink, and go to dark places. Demolish all things that are not from you- things that cause prideful,sinful and even the amoral things. Things that cause stumbling are not from you. I know that you are not the author of confusion.

Help me to take captive every thought. I pray these things in your name Jesus. I surrender them to you and diligently pray to not give. Amen

Make it a Truthful Tuesday! God is good…